My first cribby post

Ok so maybe not first. Its the first one to have this title though! So the first thing I want to crib about is mine and God's fight against my weight loss. It seems recently whenever I look at myself in the mirror and decide, hell I'm going to do something about this! God says "We'll see". A few days ago I went to play table tennis with my mom and immediately contracted a cold. Yes, I got a cold WHILE playing tt. It started off with a very weird throat infection and turned into a full blown cold a couple of days later. Needless to say, I needed no greater excuse to keep sleeping for hours on an end. 

The next time when this happened was when I decided to go for my aerobics class. Yes, I've finally joined my aerobics class! I went for 2 days and precisely at the end of the 2nd day, I started suffering from stomach ache. I think I had a mild case of food poisoning. So I'm back to not walking, not playing. Although I am eating less too so that should compensate for some loss of activity. Even so, I am tired of falling sick all the time! I've just been bogged down by 1 disease or the other and ironically right when I'm trying to get some semblance of regular physical activity in my life... Yeah God, we'll see! Hmpf!

Next in my list of cribbing is my age. I'm almost 25! I feel like I'm suffering from mid-life crisis. Everything will go downhill from here! Its so strange to hear myself say things which I've heard from 40 year old people before. As they say though, 30s is the new 20s and by extension of that definition, 20s must be the new teens so I have quite a lot of time before I start trying to brake my downhill process. Time seems to have flown! I guess this is just because I am sitting at home whole day. I can literally count every minute passing away. Scary feeling, that is...

Last on my crib list today is Holi. "Bura na mano, holi hai" never ever works on me. Mujhe hamesha bura lagta hai if someone comes and smears colors on my face when I am in no mood to play. Plus, this article by Indian Express makes me say "seeeee!"

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/protect-your-eyes-during-holi/585451/

Alright so its not so bad, its kind of fun too. In the past few years though I have been extremely averse to playing Holi. The color just doesn't go out from your hair. In some cases, I've seen people walking around with yellow eyes. The hours and hours and days and days of baths are just not worth it for a few hours of "fun". I think it is just an excuse to beat up people you have a strong grudge against, or even a mild one for that matter. I regret to say that I've played with eggs and Subja once and walked around like an urchin for hours after that. Oh God, but that was years ago! Anyway, tomorrow is Holi and I am for sure going to flout the "no-scarf" rule. I am going out covered from head to toe! My dearest friends, please forget my home address till end of tomorrow...

Suicide

The rising number of suicides for seemingly silly reasons has prompted me to write this poem. Although I am not in that person's shoes, hence I am no one to judge if it was right to commit suicide, but even so, it seems that this "last" option is being taken up very eagerly by people who suffer even minor setbacks. 

Reprimanded by my school teacher,
Failed a very crucial exam,

Dumped by the love of my life,
Falsely accused by all my colleagues,

All these problems, and many more such,
Not bourne by a single person, but a motley bunch,

All trudge on towards the end of the cliff,
Where the earth meets the sky, the ocean, the horizon,

Do they hesitate? Do they yearn?
For some understanding or help?

A hug, a kind word, an "everything's going to be ok",
Said at the right time, could have saved them,

Are we weak or plain insensitive?
No distinction between people who commit suicide and those who don't,

All it takes is one major failure, or even a minor one,
In today's increasingly fragile world,

To turn from you into "them",
Similarly walking towards the end of the cliff,

A hug, a kind word, an "everything's going to be ok",
Is all that is required, to save "us"...

A touch of nostalgia

I recently had to visit my college to persuade a teacher to provide me with a recommendation letter. She was sweet enough to agree, and I was pleasantly surprised to have all my work finished within a matter of few hours. Quite in contrast to my college days when I had to wait hours on an end because the office was closed, or the stationery staff was having lunch. Patience was the most tested virtue and on several occasions I remember running out of it. When I was in college, I had the privilege of attending one alumni meet because I was on the students panel. I heard all ex-students telling me to enjoy my college life because it won't last forever. And I was like, enjoy what? Such pressure during submissions, the stress of exams? I believe there really was nothing much to enjoy. Coming back to the present, by chance I landed up in college during the annual college fest Gandhar. I was very graciously invited to the final eve of the week-long event.

Two years in the professional world have made me see things in a completely different perspective. Throughout the week-long Gandhar, there is tremendous amount of noise coming from the open air auditorium in between buildings, which does not allow anybody to hear a single word anybody else is saying. The college staff not only tolerates this, they also join in to enjoy. Apart from that, while as students we ambled into lectures at 8:45, all teachers had to and still have to report at 8 am sharp. We never really gave that a thought. I made up my mind to come for Gandhar eve, just to see if it was done as it used to be done in the good ol' days (yeah yeah it was 3 years ago!). I reached college and the audi was jam packed. I made my way to the 2nd floor and sat on the balcony with my legs dangling down, head bent low and watching the stage almost in top view(our college has 4 buildings joined in a square and the audi is in between). Just like a student. I felt too shy to go and visit all the teachers. I had the best time though.

The performances were amazing as usual and this time the staff had also joined in for putting up skits and dances. I think I have always been immensely proud of the fact that I have come from an all girls college. We did and still do EVERYTHING by ourselves. Finally, I can relate to what my alumni were saying. Its not a very good feeling. It seems I have missed out on enjoying the best of my years. I wish I had cribbed less or laughed more. Its like a filter has been put on all my college-related memories. I can only remember all the good times. Nevertheless, I still have the best that my college had to offer. My awesome friends. Hey guys, remember when we... ?

Dancey Rumblings

Yes, this is another one of those posts about dance. I think they are increasing in frequency coz I'm missing dance so much! I've just been cooped up at home studying for the upcoming entrance exams and I barely have any social life left. I gave up the job offer too and haven't found the time to re-join aerobics and contemporary dance class. I'm just living my life vicariously through So you think you can Dance and Dance India Dance...

From as long back as I can remember, I've been extremely fond of Latin American styles of couple dancing. There is something so stylish and sexy in these dance forms that I literally salivate at the thought of going to a Salsa party or joining a class. After all the classes that I've been through, I think I just about know the quick-quick-slow pace of Salsa. When I watch So you think you can dance, I am just amazed by the way those participants dance. Most dancers, when they're learning, specialize in one particular form of dance. Some specialize in contemporary, while others might enjoy hip hop. However, in SYTYCD (long shortform!), the contestants have to pick up a new style practically within a week! When its time to perform, most often than not they dance so well that you cannot believe that they've adapted to the new style in a week. I believe that must be the mark of a real dancer. Initially while learning a particular form, we learn certain mannerisms of the dance, certain characteristics. However, as beginners, we associate those mannerisms with dancing itself. Once you learn to separate the style from dance, it becomes easier to learn other dance forms. 

Case in point being, people who learn classical dance are at times very stiff while performing simple Bollywood steps. While on the topic, in a recent episode of So you think, a couple was expected to perform Bollywood. When I saw their costumes, I was thoroughly prepared to be disappointed. The costumes looked like some weird 80s stuff! However, I must admit, they did a fabulous job. It was more based on classical than conventional jhatka matkas of Bollywood, but even then they managed to pull it off remarkably well. I must say I felt very proud that Bollywood was a part of So you think and they hadn't made it some floozy dance but had actually used some very difficult steps! Apparently there was one in the previous season too which was even more magical than this one. I need to look for that on youtube...

Coming to Dance India Dance, I think it is one of the best Indian dance shows. However I would maintain that Boogie Woogie will remain my favorite. In Dance India Dance, although the dance forms are comparable to say So you think (hip hop, salsa, bee-boying), the level of dancing isn't. No doubt the contestants are very capable but somewhere or the other small nuances are missed because of which the whole thing looks wobbly and not well practised. It is especially scary when they perform stunts. A couple of times they haven't worked out as planned and that kind of makes the show go flop because the choreographers should have ensured that the participant will be able to perform that stunt. I believe, it is better to do an easy dance elegantly than to do a difficult dance clumsily.

I also watch Marathi dance show Eka Peksha Ek which till recently I held in high esteem. The contestants were genuinely talented and the decisions regarding winners always seemed fair. However, since the celebrity competition started, I have kind of lost interest in it. Even so, it is watchable because of some very unique dance styles that I have never seen before. Sometimes the story behind a performance touches you much more than the moves and choreographers in EPE have used their imagination quite a bit. However, to regain its lost glory I believe they should get more judges and try to widen the spectrum of the contest.

So, basically, my dancing shoes are gathering dust, and I am becoming obese day-by-day. Salsa party anyone?

Creativity v/s Memory

I read an article in a newspaper some time back, which stated that, women can be trained to be better chess players than men. The difference, the author cited, was in the way men and women play chess. Men regard every game as a new battle to conquer and hence think of innovative ways to win a tournament. Women, on the other hand, play by memory. If they realize that the status of a game is the same as some other game they had played before, they will try to imitate the moves that had led them to win the previous game. Women generally have good memory (refer to jokes about husband-bashing for forgetting birthdays n anniversaries ;)), so if they are taught several possible game strategies, they can remember those and can win a large number of tournaments. This was the author's hypothesis and I have no idea whether anyone found out if it was true or not. However, it has made for an interesting comparison in my head and I now present it before you. 

I've lamented a million times about lack of rules and order in India, particularly in Pune. Traffic is the best example where every person applies his own set of laws. Traffic lights are missing or off at so many junctions and the impatient people of Pune rarely give way to anybody, leading to congestion and chaos. At times like these I've wondered, why can't they make the system such that it is impossible to break the law? For e.g. now they've started putting dividers on the road for people who want to take a right turn. However, people not in that section of the road still manage to cut across and take a right turn. Especially when one is stuck in a traffic jam, you tend to curse the government for not implementing stricter traffic rules. Every time you need to have a new strategy to find your way out of the mess. Dodge the bus here, cut that rikshawala there, honk at the car and you're through! A sense of achievement prevails, no doubt, but at the cost of mental health!

When I went to Dubai this time, I got a shock! Dubai has completely changed face. It almost looks like US right now. There are a hundred roads leading God knows where and they have used the "Exit" system. When you're on a road, if you want to go to a destination, you choose the correct "Exit", or else you need to go for some 10 miles before you can take a U turn and come back! Very efficient apparently, with accurate road signs, the flow of traffic is extremely smooth. However, you need to be extremely sure of where you want to go. 10 miles to take a U-turn is extremely annoying if you are in a hurry to reach somewhere. The roads are almost impossible to remember and you need to choose your lane a few kilometers in advance to head in the right direction. This is not just the case on major roads, even internal roads have no U-turn signs. So obviously, you need to have an extremely good memory of where all the important roads go. No scope for creativity here. 

So, now the question comes, which one would I prefer? Would I prefer creatively battling my way through a million vehicles, or having a proper rule system, where if I make a mistake, I have to drive around in circles? Obviously there are other alternatives, but after seeing the state my Dad is in when he is driving around in Dubai, I have started cribbing less. At least there is no chance of anyone getting lost in Pune, but it is a real possibility in Dubai. You could end up miles away from your intended destination with no way of knowing how to actually get there. I'm quite grateful that Pune isn't going the Dubai way. I'll battle my way "creatively" through all the mess, oh traffic policemen, but I will hand out chocolates every time you are there to direct the traffic when our red-amber-greens break down. More signals in working order please! Oh, and of course, drive safely dear readers...

Second to none..

I really enjoy dancing and at one point of life I seriously considered taking it up as a profession. In one of the dance seminars that I attended, I remember somebody referring to dance as a sport. Somehow, I never thought of dance as a sport. I mean, dance is dance, and I hate sports! However, I have to admit, there are many similarities between the two. Just like any sport, dance also teaches character-building. I learnt a very important fact about myself while dancing...

A few years ago, I used to go for Bollywood dance classes at an institute. I had completed the basic course and was learning in the advance batch. One day, our dance instructor asked me to step back from the second row to the third row of the dance group. The formation in which we were practising was the one in which we would perform on the final day, in front of friends and family. Although I never really cared about being in the second row before, I felt deeply insulted about being transferred to the third row. Nobody would be able to see me! Besides, I considered myself to be a decent dancer, very worthy of the second row, not at all third row material! Alas the difference in perceptions!

I sulked and sulked for the rest of the class. However, in the next class I resolved to dance so well that I would come, not just back to the second row, but to the first row, in the centre position. I paid careful attention to all new steps and danced, danced with all my energy. I felt drained and exhausted, but Sir noticed my enthusiasm and pulled me to the front row. I didn't get the centre position, but at least I came to the front row. Needless to say, I was immensely happy and danced really hard for the next few classes, lest I be thrown back to the third row again.

Gradually though, I came to realize that its not just about dancing in the front row. It is about dancing your best, no matter where you are. If you are good, you'll get noticed. Moreover, I realized that the burning desire to prove myself, came only when I felt insulted about being relegated to the third row. Had I been left to dance in the second row, I would have never improved. I guess, in life, sometimes you need that extra sting, that push, which makes you go over the edge, give it your best shot. However, the push might not always come, the sting might not always hurt. The determination to succeed should come first from within. The motivation to be the best should be present from the beginning.

My Name Is Khan - movie review

FR: What shit!

I remember sending an SMS during the interval to my friend. It read "engaging so far". A few minutes into the second half and I was looking for a place to bang my head open. No wait. That was my cousin. I was looking for a more painless way to die, having endured enough pain from the movie. Anyway, I could write a separate post about the jokes cracked on this one, so I'll save that for some other day. Moving on to the matter at hand...

Rizwan Khan (Shah Rukh Khan),who suffers from Asperger's syndrome, is on a mission to tell the President of the United States that his name is Khan and that he is not a terrorist. Why he wants to inform the President of this very important fact forms the crux of this story. While on this journey, Rizwan goes back in time to his childhood days. His Ammi teaches him at a very young age, that there are only good guys and bad guys, and that should be his only source of distinction between people. Zakir (Jimmy Shergil) is Rizwan's younger brother who often resents him for getting all the attention from their mother. He shifts base to the US as soon as he turns 18 and marries Hasina (Sonia Jehaan). After the death of his mother, Rizwan moves to US where Zakir gives him the post of salesman of a women's cosmetics company. This is the first ridiculous aspect of the story. People with Asperger's syndrome rarely talk, even to people who they know very well and here we see Rizwan rattling off all the pros of the cosmetics he wishes to sell. Moving on..

While on this job, he meets a beautiful hairdresser, Mandira (Kajol). He soon falls in love with her and she agrees to marry him if he shows her some place in San Franciso which she has never seen before. Soon, Rizwan, Mandira and her young son are seen happily walking hand-in-hand. I found this part of the plot highly implausible as people with Asperger's syndrome need to be taken care of and I believe Mandira already had enough on her plate in terms of her son. Either ways, 9/11 happens and the world comes crashing down. Mandira's son is killed in a racial attack and in her hysterical state, she blames Khan for it. If her son's last name was Rathore, she opines, he would have still been alive. She asks Khan to "GO AWAY" and return only when he has told the President of the US that her son was a Khan but he wasn't a terrorist. Khan takes Mandira literally and starts on a journey to meet the President of the US, while Mandira steadfastly fights for her son's justice.

Till the plot is related to these 2 stories, it remains powerful and heart-wrenching. What plays spoiler is when Rizwan goes to save a village from hurricane Katrina. People with Asperger's syndrome rarely take the initiative to direct hundreds of people to a rescue mission. In the second half, its just one implausible incident after another, till you wonder, what the hell was K-Jo thinking? The background music is jarring and I found myself covering my ears and hunching like Rizwan several times during the movie. There are such gaping holes in the logic that you wonder if the scriptwriter was sleeping while writing. For more loopholes, visit http://www.thevigilidiot.com/

Average music, decent cinematography and a hackneyed plot do not let My Name Is Khan become the best movie ever. However, Shah Rukh Khan's Rizwan is innocent and makes you laugh most often than not. Kajol's Mandira is also loveable though her eyebrows were much less done than Shah Rukh's which is strange considering she is playing the part of a hairdresser. All in all, worth a watch once, but don't blame me if you end up tearing out your hair towards the end.