The red pill

Is it my hyper active imagination that I believe that I am "the one" for some people to be rescued from some matrix? I always feel that I am not meant to be just sitting at a computer typing away to glory.
Ok so that part is done, I've figured out that something is wrong..
Now I've got the blue pill and the red pill in front of me.
I think i am in the midst of swallowing the blue pill. Or maybe I have already swallowed it and I finished meeting the Oracle.
Suddenly I've got huge doubts about myself. I think I am not "The One" because I am waiting for something. What am I waiting for? This uncertainity, this time period between consuming the pill and stopping the bullets, it is too unsure a time..
It's scary and it almost feels safe to give up and go back to tickity takcity typing away at my keyboard in my plush office where I can grow fat without a care in nice AC and suffer from stomach upsets occasionally.
But someday I know that I'll regret that.. This opening of the prison gate, its not a one second leap of freedom.. It opens gradually.. The more light you see, the more you feel like retreating back into the darkness.. Can you imagine a bird backing into its own cage for a second before it flies off into the blue sky?
So even though my status message says that I'd rather take the red pill, I think it's decision time.. Blue pill it is!